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Trying to hold onto friendships

nodle

nodle

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I guess maybe I am different. But usually when I become friends with someone it sticks. Time and distance don't really matter to me, if we were good friends once, then your good friends for life. I have friends that if it wasn't for me trying to keep in touch and talk to them, I probably would never hear from them again. It's almost like trying to hold onto a dating relationship where the girl eventually goes away. I don't know, it bugs me more than I would like to admit. I reach out and text these people, they barely respond, and I think if I wouldn't send a text, they would probably never talk to me again. I hate letting go but what's the point?
 
life is challenging, and super busy. Often times if you don't get a response you are looking for, you can chalk it up to an issue a person is having in their life that has nothing to do with you. I'd try to not let it bother you.
 
I have been thinking about this lately, I have a few friends that I have tried to stay in contact with. I have really tried. It just seems to be one sided. I don't know why it gets to me so bad. I guess I have a hardcore friendship built into me, that once I was friends with you. It doesn't matter what distance or the time we are still friends. But I woke up the other night and I just have to learn to let go. I have done my part on my side, if they want to still be friends, I will let them reach out. I feel good on my side that at least I did try and it wasn't me.
 
If you have 3-5 really good friends, that you can stay in touch with once in awhile or maybe even converse with almost daily, that's all you need.
 
jmanz said:
If you have 3-5 really good friends, that you can stay in touch with once in awhile or maybe even converse with almost daily, that's all you need.
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You know there is some truth to this. I don't really have friends over here. I know people, but no one really is a "friend". I was talking with @jmanz about a trip we took years ago and it had me rolling. I have basically maybe 4 people that are really true friends anymore that I text daily, and that's about it. Time really weeds out the true one, some fade off and other stick.
 
I saw my "friend" came in for Thanksgiving this year and posted pictures. Came in about an hour away. It really bugged me. I sent him two different texts though two different apps and an email to make sure he got them asking why he didn't call me. I got nothing in return. I guess he doesn't want to be friends anymore. It really eats at me since he used to be my best friend, and we had so much time invested with each other. I still don't understand why, political views are the only thing I can think of, even though I would never let that change a relationship on my side. I just want closure saying it wasn't me in the end.
 
nodle said:
I saw my "friend" came in for Thanksgiving this year and posted pictures. Came in about an hour away. It really bugged me. I sent him two different texts though two different apps and an email to make sure he got them asking why he didn't call me. I got nothing in return. I guess he doesn't want to be friends anymore. It really eats at me since he used to be my best friend, and we had so much time invested with each other. I still don't understand why, political views are the only thing I can think of, even though I would never let that change a relationship on my side. I just want closure saying it wasn't me in the end.
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I've had this happen to me, and I've also been guilty of doing this myself to other friends. Wasn't anything personal, just decided to spend time in other ways, with family etc. Maybe it's the same for your friend. Just throwing it out there.
 
jmanz said:
I've had this happen to me, and I've also been guilty of doing this myself to other friends. Wasn't anything personal, just decided to spend time in other ways, with family etc. Maybe it's the same for your friend. Just throwing it out there.
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He emailed me back this morning. He didn’t say much, but for my own personal peace of mind I called him out and asked him why he doesn’t want to keep in contact with me. It’s fine if he doesn’t, but again I want at least a reason and some closure. I will see what he says.
 
I am the same way.

Hard time getting reciprocal love in this world from experience.

I was raised Christian but my family were in some pretty terrible places in terms of choices that hurt others including me. I have also made some bad choices, not on purpose, and have tried to make amends indirectly because things ended poorly. I have really only ever had 2 or 3 relationships in my life and they didn't last long. Anyway, I constantly pray that God doesn't judge them or me very harshly, but I pray that He works on their conscience. Everything I have experienced teaches me one thing; "Apart from me, you can do nothing" -Jesus in John 15:5
 
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I got a response from my friend tonight. I was surprised by what he said to me. I won't go into details. But offended me and basically, told me our friendship was over. I wrote him back and said I was sorry to hear that. In a way I feel a lot better, it has been bugging me for over a year now. I was very nice to him in my return email. I feel at least some closure knowing that I responded nicely and did the right thing. At least I will have our memories together.
 
nodle said:
I got a response from my friend tonight. I was surprised by what he said to me. I won't go into details. But offended me and basically, told me our friendship was over. I wrote him back and said I was sorry to hear that. In a way I feel a lot better, it has been bugging me for over a year now. I was very nice to him in my return email. I feel at least some closure knowing that I responded nicely and did the right thing. At least I will have our memories together.
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Sounds like a similar situation that happened to me several months ago by a long time "friend".
 
I did this again today. I went through my messages on my phone and swiped and deleted the people that I keep messaging and never respond. I am tired of it being a one-way street.
 
Spying Homer Simpson GIF by MOODMAN
 
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